Feminism Deprives Women of Father's Love
by Henry Makow Ph.D.
How Feminism Undermines Society
As children, most women did not receive adequate love from their fathers. As a
result, they are insecure, distrust men and feel they must be independent.
They can't respond sexually and their marriages often end in divorce. Their
daughters continue the vicious cycle.
This is the conclusion of Victoria Secunda's book "Women and their Fathers:
The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your Life “(1992). It is
based on interviews with 150 daughters, 75 fathers, and dozens of authorities.
Because she is not an academic, Secunda wrote an honest and useful book. Because
she is a feminist, it slipped through the feminist censors and was well
received. This is ironic because feminism is largely responsible for the father
loss and calamity she describes.
I will argue later that feminism, which originates in Marxism, undermines women
and society by eliminating fathers. And I will present a heterosexual paradigm
that might be useful to some men and women.
Fathers and Daughters
Girls base their male romantic ideal on their relationship with their father.
"When I grow up, will I ever find a man as sweet and good and kind as my daddy"
is how one women expressed it. (Secunda, p.105)
A three-year-old girl is at the stage of her development when she wants to marry
Daddy and have mother out of the way. A good father helps her to understand that
he is spoken for and prepares her for another man. But if he leaves, her
idealization of her father can become frozen in time. (197)
Women's attachments or lack of them are "mirror images" of how they
related to their fathers. People often instinctively repeat what they
experienced in childhood, even if it was the worst thing in the world. It's what
they know. They are trying to have one more shot at childhood, one more chance
to rewrite their emotional histories. (224)
Little girls must have their father's approval and love. This is like sun and
water to a flower.
One woman said: "Whenever I'd worry about ever getting a boyfriend, he'd laugh
and say, 'Are you kidding? I'll have to beat them off with a stick. You'll see.'
His whole approach was to make me feel good about myself.... I think if
fathers do nothing else, that's a great thing." (221)
Another woman said: "It's my dad who made me believe in myself. I remember my
mom once telling me, 'Don't act too smart, the boys won't like you." To which my
father responded, 'Hogwash she'll get smarter boys." (225)
These women naturally feel positively about men and are able to find partners
who mirror the devoted father of childhood.
If a woman does not have a loving dependable father, due to his own arrested
development or a divorce, she may seek men who reject or deny her needs. She may
recoil from love altogether. Always she is haunted by the thought that she is
essentially unlovable. (224)
These women may become sexually active prematurely to try to compensate. They
may fear intimacy. The common theme is "an inability to trust, to believe that a
man won't go away."
Secunda says that in a study of the sex lives of 300 women, those who had
trouble achieving orgasm mostly had fathers who were emotionally or physically
absent during their childhood. (31)
Apparently, a woman needs to trust in order to "let go." (See also my "The Power
of Sexual Surrender."
Women with absent fathers feel rootless and aren't sure they belong anywhere.
They close up emotionally and tend to have rocky relationships. "Most of these
daughters tended to test the men in their lives starting fights, finding flaws,
expecting to be abandoned, or looking for excuses to walk out themselves." (214)
Another pattern is anxiety about supporting themselves and of being financially
dependent on men. This is where feminism comes in.
"It seems that the less masculine attention they got in childhood, the more they
seem to identify with and imitate men, keeping their feelings hidden, preferring
casual teasing and unemotional banter to the intimacies of feminine soul
Denied their fathers, women become more masculine. This is a way of bringing
daddy back. They become the thing they are missing. (212)
In other words, a good father affirms his daughter's innate femininity. But if
he is absent, she compensates by becoming masculine. This of course undermines
her future relationships with men.
The Origins of Feminism
The leaders of second wave feminism were usually products of broken homes. "My
father didn't ever exist as a presence in my life.... He didn't care about us,"
said Marilyn French, author of "The War Against Women."
"My father was living in California," said Gloria Steinem. "He didn't ring up
but I would get letters from him and saw him maybe once or twice a year."
Germaine Greer: "My father had decided pretty early on that life at home was
pretty unbearable...it gave my mother an opportunity to tyrannize the children
and enlist their aid to disenfranchise my father completely." (From Susan
Mitchell. Icons, Saints and Divas: Intimate Conversations with Women who
Changed the World, New York: Harper Collins, 1997.)
Feminism is a self-perpetuating form of father-loss. Its goal is to "overthrow
the patriarchy." The word originates in the Latin "pater" or father. Feminism,
like Communism, originates in the Illuminist endeavour to overthrow God and the
natural order and impose on mankind a dictatorship of the rich.
Feminism is designed to weaken society so that it will succumb. It is
extrapolated from Marxism: men "oppress" women by virtue of their role as wife
and mother. This of course is nonsense. Both sex roles involve sacrifice. Men
have supported and defended families with their lives for centuries.
Feminism reflects the Illuminist (Masonic/Communist) assumption that man defines
reality, not God and nature. It claims that sex roles are socially rather than
biologically based. It coerces women to abandon the feminine role and usurp the
masculine one instead, making men redundant.
Feminists teach that all injustice is due to the "inequality" of the sexes and
therefore heterosexuality itself must be eliminated. Many feminists are lesbian
and promote homosexuality. They have passed laws that deprive men of all rights
over their children and property. Courts and police routinely discriminate
against men. (See my "Dawn of the Feminist Police State"
www.savethemales.ca/000079.html and "NWO Tyranny: Men are Being Kicked in
The establishment fosters and spreads this magnificent hoax. I refer you to my
articles "Relearning Heterosexual Love"
www.savethemales.ca/030402.html " "Betty Friedan: Mommie was a Commie"
www.savethemales.ca/000061.html; and "Gloria Steinem: How the CIA Used
Feminism to Destabilize Society"
The Havoc Wreaked by Feminism
Since the onslaught of second-wave feminism in the 1960's the divorce rate has
tripled. Almost 50% of white women who married then have divorced. In contrast,
a single generation earlier (1940's), only 14% eventually divorced.
Between 1970 and 1992, the proportion of babies born outside of marriage leapt
from 11% to 30%.
Three times as many children (per capita) are now living in single parent
households. In 2000, 22.4% of all children under 18 (16,162,000 children) lived
in mother-only households. In 1960, the figure was 8%.
A study which tracked 1000 children of divorced parents from 1976 until 1987
found that nearly half of these children had not seen their fathers in
the previous year. (203)
As far as women's psychological development and happiness, feminism clearly is a
Father-Daughter: A Heterosexual Paradigm
These days men and women are kept in a state of arrested development, frozen in
the courtship stage. If people are sex starved and stunted, you can sell them
products and control them.
The mass media encourages us to obsess on sex and postpone marriage and family
indefinitely. When you are married, sex is readily available and less important.
Young men are taught to judge women on appearance and ignore more important
qualities in a mate. Some men think beautiful women are superhuman and
unapproachable. Perhaps the following will be of use to some of them.
If women form their ideal of male from their father, present or absent, it
behoves men to be more "father-like" in their approach to women. Typically,
women choose men who are five years older because they seek to replicate their
own family, with husband providing the physical and emotional security as their
father did (or should have).
Men should seek younger women who "look up" to them. Instead of thinking in
sexual terms, men should seek long-term relationships leading to marriage. This
is far more rewarding than casual sex anyway.
Whether they had good fathers or not, women need husbands for security,
nurturing and direction. Men should prepare themselves for this role, with
regard to wife and children. This is the standard to which men have always
measured themselves, and women still measure men.
If many women are looking for a father figure, are men looking for a mother?
Possibly. But this isn't healthy. Many men want a daughter-figure,
someone who will demonstrate the loyalty, trust and innocence that a girl feels
for her father. A man wants to be affirmed in his authority as husband and
father, not mothered like a child.
Of course a man also wants his wife to be strong, sophisticated and effective
because this makes her more desirable. But she should retain those daughterly
qualities that he finds so attractive. When a woman trusts her husband's
leadership, she can focus on her feminine side. It allows her to retain her
youthfulness and attraction into old age.
Victoria Secunda's book confirms that some men occasionally have sexual feelings
for their daughters. She says this is normal. Men get spooked by this and avoid
their daughters. They shouldn't. There is a world of difference between arousal
and actually wanting, let alone doing. (16)
A father's responsibility is to build his daughter's trust in men, and prepare
her for another man. This involves confirming her in her sexual identity, as a
capable attractive partner for a future husband.
In my lifetime the popular image of the father has undergone a transformation
from the dignified Robert Young in Fathers Knows Best to the bumbling
fool Homer Simpson. This is not a coincidence or a "sign of the times." It
reflects a sophisticated psychological warfare program designed by the
Illuminist elite to emasculate men, degrade and destabilize society.
The people whop own and run the planet do not want us to become mature beings
who can perceive the true order of things. Their main instrument is the mass
media, which makes trends like feminism appear spontaneous.
Victoria Secunda has shown that a healthy father-daughter relationship in a
nuclear family is essential to a woman's psychological development and future
happiness. Despite its pretensions, feminism undermines women by depriving them
of these things.
I want to be clear that women are equal to men, and should have careers if they
wish. But at its heart, feminism is not about these things. It promotes a
lesbian developmental disorder that destroys society by attacking its basic
social unit, the heterosexual family.
The dysfunction created by the destruction of the family has spawned a predatory
class of professionals: politicians, educators, writers, law enforcers, lawyers,
counsellors and health care professionals. This class becomes the Iluminist
elite's political constituency. Thus mankind is kept in a state of arrested
It's time for men to step up to the plate. We also suffer from father loss. But
there is a father that we can know. I am talking about God. We are made in God's
image and His image is in our soul. Man in Latin, "vir", has the same root as
virtue. It's as simple as doing the right thing.
In this context, it means forming strong marriages and having healthy children.
Henry Makow Ph.D. is the inventor of the board
game Scruples and the the author of "A Long Way to go for a Date." His past
articles on feminism and the new world order can be found at
www.savethemales.ca He enjoys receiving comments at