|Ritalin destroyed my life :(|
Drugs cause problems
Joined: 15 May 2006
|Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 12:18 pm Post subject:|
|Im so glad I found this post
because I dont know anyone who knows this situation. Im am in my early
20s and I was put on ritalin at the age of 10 for adhd without any
therapy to go with it. I took it for 11 years and I have to say it most
certainly has ruined my life...or at least i suppose has made it more
difficult. I didnt realize I was getting high before all of the other
kids in my class.
I remember feeling so empty and 'not there' in the afternoons but not understanding why. As wierd as it sounds, even years after I feel the same way every afternoon without the drug. I have permanent muscle tics, and my gosh I could probably go on forever.... I am off ritalin now because I underwent major depression last year partly because of having my ritalin dose raised and then switching to concerta(extended release) and having a bad psychological reaction to it and I was so thin i looked like a skeleton, I have been called "anorexic" my whole life even though Im not because of the side effects.
After all this time I not only have adhd but as of last year Im bipolar 2 as well...I am being treated for both and am still taking a stimulant drug, adderall xr for adhd and Im still underweight although doing very well, I really wish I never started on ritalin in the first place. I completely understand although havent had a heart attack, I had awful heart problems I never told anyone about(stupid) but because of ritalin i have experienced every symptom of a heart attack althought i dont think I have ever had one...and the only reason i know that is because i havent died yet.
I most certianly have destroyed my body with it, I dont want to say too much on the net im a lil paranoid.
But i just want you to know you can still do whatever you want. I am in college now and i have a 3.8 GPA, and i hardly ever take the adderall. Im going to be a teacher If i can do it, you can too.
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Location: Widefield Colorado
|Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:47 am Post subject:|
|I thank god that i found a record
of people that have actually been through what i have been through. I am
19 and i was also diagnosed with ADHD. I'm a smart kid, but i was never
good at the caring part. I score a 31 on my ACT, but i was ranked in the
lowest 10% of my graduating class. I've been taking various pills since
i was 8 years old, though i stopped at about 16. Anything from ritalin
to muscle relaxers to antidepressants, anything to shut me up. The drugs
were supposed to make me concentrate, which i suppose they did, a
little, but at the horrendous price of severe depression,
agonizing anxiety, severe paranoia and delusions. I started
contemplating suicide, then actually tried to go through with it on
multiple occasions. Sometimes i just couldn't, other times i was saved
in the nick of time. Luckily, i wasn't smart enough to just jump off a
building or shoot myself. What's even worse about the drug is the fact
that the after effects are even worse than the effects during the period
i took them. I have ridiqulous muscle spasms almost each and every day.
My insomnia affects my every action throughout the day. I can't walk
down the street and see someone without thinking
i'm going to get jumped or shot. I sit around and worry about getting
bombed, and martial law, and cops busting down my door for no reason. I
don't think i've ever had a normal relationship, or even friendship for
that matter. Plus every now and then i just totally disassociate with
reality. I'll black out for some period of time and then come to in a
totally different place, confused out of my mind. I forget things i'm
saying as i'm doing them. I forget what show i'm watching in the middle
of a commercial break, i can drink coffee for hours and feel nothing. I
have absolutely no control or rationality involved in my emotional
spectrum. I just hope that one day this all goes away and i can feel
normal. I also hope that one day the world wakes up and no child ever
has to go through this again. I'm sure you all know exactly what i'm
talking about, and maybe even find it boring and repetive, but anybody
who made it this far, thank you for letting me finally have the moment i
needed to say my peace of mind. I actually feel better just having been
able to let it all out. Good luck to anyone going through what i've been
through, i hope we can all have our day of reckoning, and don't let them
tell you you're not okay.