by Andrew Hennessey
In the annals of contemporary folk myth in Scotland in those times when all about are losing their heads and are being taken over by an evil alien collective there is One Scottish giant whose bravery and heroism stands out for a special mention.
That’s Dangerous Dan, a Scottish UFO investigator who regularly takes on the difficult cases that absolutely nobody else wants.
In relentless pursuit of the truth Dan travels the length and breadth of the UK to interview extraordinary people in extraordinary trouble.
With a cameraman, he travelled to Humberside in North England to interview a lady who had a rather strange lodger called David Daniels.
He had the most disconcerting way of; answering questions before they were asked, of putting lots of sugar on his food, of sleeping beside radiators and travelling between rooms without opening or closing doors.
It was alarming to leave him in one room with his fresh towels and find him waiting in the next room – which was unconnected in any way.
He claimed that he was on the run from the FBI and that he ‘wasn’t from around here …’
At this point things were starting to look convincing.
Did Fox Mulder of the X-files know where he now was – was surely going to emerge as a question at some point.
He claimed that he was part of an alien network and that he had a contact in a local, nearby town.
Certainly there is an alleged deep level base at RAF Boomer near the city of Newcastle, but that facility was one of many the length and breadth of the entire country.
The story goes that it is actually a deep level base with over fifty levels down. Someone getting a job interview there had got in the elevator and had been taken to the deepest level, where allegedly, behind a huge steel door is a being of enormous telepathic power – who no doubt by now wants to go home.
The problem is that when approached it scrambles one’s brains.
Newcastle, though, had no real reputation for being exotic.
Maybe it was the attraction of the famous Newcastle Brown Ale that made it a top destination for aliens and their networks, but for one reason or another the landlady was starting to arrive at the idea that her lodger was not a run off the mill Newcastle United supporter.
Now his landlady really didn’t know what to say to all of this but was of the old hippy 1960’s era where people are open to the ‘far out’.
This was definitely ‘far out’.
It had transpired that one day Mr Daniels was in his bedroom and he called his landlady in. He was lying on the bed and then said .. ‘I’ve got something to show you .. !!’ The landlady was really not at all sure what to expect at this point … but suddenly the veins and skin on his arms and chest started turning dark blue and scaly.
‘Oh dear’, said the landlady … he’s a Reptile.
That fact certainly provided a talking point over afternoon tea and biscuits.
Being the facilitative and social type that she is she realised that somehow she had been pushed to the human frontier of communion with some sort of interstellar species. You would not recognise these people at Tesco or Wal-Mart if they were at the checkout with you.
She had a friend who claimed to be an abductee – maybe this was a chance to have a star trek convention for real … ‘one small step for man … ‘ etc
So she set up a dinner date where the young man, the abductee, could come round and meet David … and then who knows what wonders in interstellar small talk may develop.
At the appointed day and hour the doorbell went, and Mrs ‘X’ went to the door with David Daniels, opening up to greet her new guest on the doorstep.
The young man’s smile turned to horror when he set eyes upon Mr Daniels … ‘… take him away, these people have raped our worlds, killed our planets …’.
It was like one of those unpleasant scenes from Star wars in the hall of the galactic council, but without the visible presence of any Jedi Knights the evening was called off without recourse to Light Sabres..
Mr Daniels, alleged Interstellar Lizard headed off not long after that and somebody sent for Dangerous Dan.
Dangerous Dan started investigating alien illusion power after that and seemed to focus on a story that many people had previously buried as a hoax and a waste of time.
Dan had discovered something very important about the Cottinglea Faerie case that no-one had ever spotted, that no-one had ever written about and no-one had ever documented at least in the public domain.
Superficially Elsie Wright and another young girl photographed faeries in their back garden in a series of photographs that were widely dismissed as a hoax in the late 19th century.
The disclosure was brokered by Arthur Conan Doyle who was later allegedly embarrassed by the public response as a tide of scepticism broke over the events.
As it turns out, Dangerous Dan discovered that Arthur Conan Doyle was part of some very strange 19th century ‘think tank’ based at Rendlesham Manor. It was a quasi governmental organisation that included; Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein, HG Wells, acclaimed science fiction writer, Jules Verne, science fiction writer and Bram Stoker, author of Dracula.
It was a Victorian version of the X-files.
Arthur Conan Doyle was also responsible for freeing an English country yokel from prison who was accused of mutilating a horse. Doyle argued that the uneducated citizen was incapable of such surgical precision and anatomical knowledge.
Dangerous Dan started to dig deeper into the Cottinglea faerie photographs, realising that there was something there that did not add up.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle seems to have had an agenda.
What was left of the collection of photographs after some had been stolen from a cab in Victorian times was called the Brotherton Collection and it was then stored in Leeds Library.
Looking through the photographs that nobody else ever looked at, those never made public, he could see that something was very wrong with the small girl Elsie.
She appeared in one photograph to be over six feet tall and at least three feet wide and it was as if someone in Victorian times had taken the equivalent of white correction fluid and painted round her shoulders to make them look narrower, creating an obvious contradiction in perspective halfway down the left coat sleeve. That same person had painted out the eyes and nose of Elsie who was wearing her usual overcoat that was visible in other photographs.
Elsie appeared to have been shifting her size and shape on camera and the author is in possession of this photograph.
Next Dan looked at the most well known and loved photograph called ‘Elsie and the Gnome’ which portrays Elsie sitting on a grassy bank in a white dress billowing around her elbows whilst a little gnome dances at the end of her extraordinarily long fingers.
When Dan saw the original version of ‘Elsie and the Gnome’, there was no billowing white elbow on that dress. The big flowing elbow on Elsie’s dress had been added by our white paint artist. What it disguised was the fact that Elsie’s arm was very very long and had an unusually non-human look especially at the elbow.
There was no puffy silken elbow in the original photograph of Elsie in that dress.
If people thought that her fingers in those photographs looked very long – then there might obviously have been even more questions if the very unusual arm and elbow were also visible.
A big blob of white paint fixed that though.
Dan at that time had emailed the copies he took of the Cottinglea photos to another famous American UFO investigator, Linda Moulton-Howe.
Shortly after that, the entire Brotherton Collection was sold at auction to Hollywood Actor and Director Mel Gibson.
One night Dangerous Dan declared that he had been ‘got’.
He said that some aliens had implanted him and that everything he saw and said was being broadcast to the BBC television centre.
I suggested to him that the Beeb could hardly handle the competition from the other channels and that maybe he was being made to think that to make people think of the whole idea as ridiculous.
Famous English Cyborg Scientist Professor Kevin Warwick suggests that this kind of technological implanting is not beyond even current human technology, so for an alien civilisation fixing it for Dan to be broadcasting to somewhere was definitely feasible.
I went round to his pad to watch a movie one night and for one reason or another it was too late to get back home by public transport and I had not brought a car.
So I was offered the sofa.
I had started dozing off when I saw this grid of red light section the room off into boxes and then this glowing bar of red light move slowly up the room like a bar scanner in a supermarket.
I turned over on the couch realising that things like this could well be all in the mind.
As I stared up at the ceiling – I could vaguely see some machinery over my head like some old fashioned dental apparatus and there were two men with short black hair about five foot seven wearing one piece overalls with the insignia of a black triangle on their chest.
They said something to the effect of ‘world domination’ type rhetoric and I wasn’t too impressed if I remember.
At that I murmured – ‘go away !!’ and turned back onto my side – and next thing my legs are being physically grabbed.
That was it ! I leapt to my feet and headed for the front door … noting as I did so little blue white glowing lights around the power supply fuse box in the house.
Dangerous Dan is currently investigating mysterious recent deaths amongst scientists in British Aerospace who were allegedly reverse engineering UFO crash materials from Argentina.
Allegedly, one of the men, according to his widow, used to carry the parts in a diplomatic briefcase chained to his wrist and regularly flew in and out of Washington DC.
Dangerous Dan, a Scottish hero of the old school, however broadcast …