I am trying to read it but the words just seem to come out like
blurs. I can't make out one word. So I say "let me have my parents read
over it and I'll mail it back to you! what's your address?" That was the
last straw. The new Mr. Green starts to freak out and he says "I'LL TELL
YOU WHAT IT SAYS, IT SAYS THAT YOU GIVE US PERMISSION TO KILL YOU! I REALLY
DON'T GIVE A F*CK IF YOU SIGN IT OR NOT BECAUSE WE WILL JUST SIGN YOUR NAME TO
IT ANYWAY! SO SHUT THE F*CK UP AND SIGN THE DAMN PAPER". I focus very had
on the paper and the first few words say some thing like I _____________ am of
free mind and body do here by freely consent.. Blah! Blah.. Blah. I said
"this is wrong, I don't freely consent". He rips the paper out of my
hands and hands it to someone off to my right. Within moments the paper is back
and my name is now on the paper. The new Mr. Green then gets a glass of water
and puts some white powder in it, mixes it up and tells me to drink it. I ask
"what's in it" and he pounds his fist on the desk "JUST F*CKING
DRINK IT". Adolph comes over my right shoulder and tells me that it's
poison and that it will kill me and I WILL drink it. At first I wouldn't but
then finally I drink the glass of water. Almost instantly I "flash" to
the healing pool and this time my stomach hurts me so badly I cannot stand it.
But I make it into the green water.
Everything is very dark for a while. I feel like I am moving. This goes on for a
while and then it feels like we have stopped. All of a sodden there is a dim
light. I am in the trunk of a car. The men go to pull me out and when I move on
my own they literally jump back about three feet. I get out of the car and
simply ask "what's going on?" The one man immediately gets on his
portable phone and starts yelling into it. "Do you want to talk to him,
here" and he hands me the phone. The man's voice on the phone sounds
familiar. For some reason they tell me to lay in the pine box at the bottom of
the hole and to go to sleep. I wake up and it is black, and by black I mean a
blackness that you can only appreciate if you have been buried alive yourself. I
hear dirt being thrown on top of me and I start to scream.
I managed to bench press the lid only about an inch or so, but it was enough for
me to get my legs and feet up onto the lid. And I manage to leg press the lid
off and to the side about 6 to 8 inches. And I start to try and dig my self out.
This seemed to take forever and I took the dirt that I had just dug away and
stuffed in the coffin behind me by my feet and I in a frantic panic proceeded to
dig my way up. As I break through the final layers the men are packing up the
shovels in the car and they are putting their shirt back on. As I pull my self
out of the earth the look of fear on their faces was evident. I could smell the
fear in the air and they knew they had done something terrible and now were
caught. Within moments I had broken both of their necks and again sat right
beside the bodies and began to cry. This time when the phone rang I answered it.
"Hello?", I said. The voice art the other end said "Who's
this?" "Who's THIS.." I said, then I said "Your friends are
dead and Iím still alive" and threw the phone into the woods. I was
covered in blood and dirt, and I black out.
The next morning I wake up in my bed and I am all cleaned up, except there is a
tremendous amount of dirt under my fingernails. Then there was the meeting
between myself and the man with the white hair. He says to me "Andy, in
Spain when a bull enters into the bull ring he is facing certain death. There is
no escape for him. However, every once in a while there comes a bull that fights
so valiantly that the animal is sparred and he is put out to pasture to stud. We
have decided to put you out to pasture, and retire you. And I said "You are
going to put me out to pasture to graze but yet I am still fenced in", and
he looked at me and just laughed.
This is common practice as the "mind f*ck" if you will is they tell
you that you are out when that couldnít be farther from the truth. It's just
another layer of programming to erase your memory.
June-August 1990 - Working at dad's.
October 1991- Kidney stones.
February 1991- I am taking business law 102, in the spring of sophomore year.
During the first month of classes from professor Shanahand (the business law
professor in the Simon school of business) Desert storm.
May 1992- I graduate from college and move home to start looking for a job.
December 1992- I am working in Newark for an air freight company (near Newark
airport). On my way to work I am listening to Howard Stern's radio show. He
starts talking about this video tape he has of a kid who is put on trial for
supposedly taking steroids when he is in high school. He says that this happened
years ago but he wants this person to call in. He wants to talk to me. At that
moment I instantly break into a cold sweat and my head starts spinning as I'm
driving on the garden state parkway. I get to work and Howard is still raving on
about this. I don't call. The next day he is calling me a coward and a weasel
for not coming forward because he wants to make me into a hero or something (I
told a lot of adults to "F*ck off," literally). He finds out who I am
from the tape, calls me and tells me he is sending a limo for me. I take
tomorrow off. In the morning, the limo arrives and I just cannot get myself to
get in, and I send it away. Howard calls and he is pissed and calls me all kinds
of names. In the afternoon, he calls me again and this time he is even more
pissed. He is frantic yelling at me about how the GOVERNMENT just pushed there
way in here, took the tape, and said that if he said one more word about this
that he is going to revoke their FCC license.
He of course talks about it on the radio the next day, begging me to come
forward and stand up to them. I cannot, every time I even try to think about any
of that stuff my head literally starts to spin. Then I remember, Mr. Green and a
group of men show up at my house, and erase my memory again.
March 1993- My father discusses my future with me and what I want to do. I told
him that I never want to live up north again. Trying to help, he calls his Navy
buddy who owns a printing company down in Atlanta. I interview and get the job.
I move down to Atlanta to start my new job and supposedly my new life.
July 1993- In my apartment complex, this guy unusually comes up to me and
introduces himself at the apartment complex pool. The guy's name is Aaron and he
is down South to get his masters degree in PSYCHOLOGY. Coincidentally he is also
from Rochester NY. And went to the University of Rochester for 1 semester and
supposedly knows some of my friends as he is a "local" Rochester boy.
He becomes my best friend after a while and about a year goes by. When we would
go out drinking or be at parties Aaron would brag about being able to hypnotize
people without them even knowing it and how he could just "f*ck" with
people's minds. I never thought much about it. I had absolutely no memory of any
of my college horrors and frankly was having the time of my life in Atlanta. He
was also one of my "best friends" so I never even considered or gave
anything else a second thought.
July 1994- The printing company didn't expand in terms of future potential as I
had hoped and I finally had quit after about a year and a half (I think). I was
unemployed for a while but then I got my first corporate break. I get my first
job with a major corporation (the Dunlop tire corporation). Three hundred and
sixty resumes for 1 spot and I got the job. So naturally I was very excited and
told all my friends. The job involved traveling all around the Southeast every
week (being gone Tuesday through Friday, on the road, every week). The job
didn't start until late August and it was early July so I had some time on my
About two weeks after I told Aaron that I had gotten the job he calls me and
asks me to come over. I get to his apartment and we bullshit for about an hour,
he tells me out of the blue that "some people are concerned about your new
job". I was shocked and this really came out of left field so I said
"what the f*ck are you talking about". He said "the fact that we
won't know where you are during the week" and I was just utterly confused
and became extremely pissed off (I still had no memory of any of the events, the
torture, the assassinations, the Illuminati, nothing) and I said "What the
hell are you talking about? Who is concerned? What business is it of theirs
anyway? Who? I don't understand?"
He let it go. What happened next he did not let go. I had all this time on my
hands and I was very nervous because I had to go to Buffalo for three weeks of
training. I was 24 years old and this was my first "real job" with a
company car, expense account and everything. Ever since I came back from Munich
Germany when I was 5 years old I stuttered severely when I spoke. The thing is I
knew it was all in my mind, because when I was alone I could speak very
fluently, but when I had to speak to anyone, read aloud or, heaven forbid, speak
to a group of people my entire throat would just "lock up" and I could
not speak word one. This was a serious problem for me and needless to say I was
tormented as a child. But anyway, I decided that this was my first real job and
if I wanted to get anywhere in life that I will not let this stop me and it must
be fixed and now is the time.
I had never been to a hypnotherapist before but for some reason I really
believed in the power of hypnotism, and I really thought that this along with my
Silva mind control could really help me. So I open the yellow pages and pick out
a hypnotheripest. In the ad the hypnotheripest claimed to be able to cure many
different ailments within a few sessions, stuttering was one of them so I called
and made an appointment.
I proceed to go into the appointment talk to the Doctor and explain how I think
my problem is all in my mind. He states that my conclusions are "very
interesting", and he puts me under. When I opened my eyes the doctor's face
was white as a ghost and he is sweating bullets, there are now two assistants in
the room and they have the same horrific look on their faces. The doctor in a
trembling voice asks me "DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF A GOVERNMENT
MEMORY CAP IN YOUR MIND?" I said "no, what are you talking
about?" He is still sweating profusely, and I ask him "what is going
on." He would not discuss it but he said he wanted to see me tomorrow. I go
to pay for the session in the lobby and I ask the assistant "what happened
in there?" At first she would not tell me but I finally got it out of her.
She said that I absolutely FREAKED OUT and I was absolutely screaming
uncontrollably. She also stated that in her 15 years with this doctor she had
never seen anything like it. She said the doctor tried for 15 minutes to put the
cap back on and I would not let him, they had to get three other people to hold
me down and finally he got control of the situation again.
This is on a Tuesday, the doctor wanted to see me the next day but he was booked
through Friday, the assistant made room for me to see him on Thursday. I leave
very confused, still having no clear memories as to what's going on and no
memories of any of the government experiments or the Illuminati or the under
ground bases. The thing is I go home and what do I do, I go right over to my
best friends apartment (Aaron) and tell him the whole story about what happened
at the hypnotheripest and the memory cap. He starts to FREAK OUT, "you went
to a hypnotheripest, WHEN?" And let me tell you he was PISSED!
I remember being very confused because I still didn't make the connection. I
remember going into his apartment, telling him what happened, he gets very
angry, but after that there was "lost time." It was between 3:00 and
4:00 o'clock in the afternoon when I went over there. I remember this because
there were "soap opera's" on the television when I was initially
telling him my story, when I left "Jeopardy" was on and it was
becoming dusk. It was about 7:30 in the evening. I leave his apartment and go
home, I found myself sort of wondering what happened? At home I empty my pockets
on the table (change, keys etc..) and I have the receipt from the hypnotheripest.
"Oh yea" I say, I'm supposed to see him on Thursday, but I couldn't
remember anything else.
I go back Thursday AND THE DOCTOR IS NO LONGER THERE! I MEAN HIS NAME IS
SCRACHED OFF THE DOOR HE IS GONE, VANISHED, I MEAN IT WAS LIKE HE HAD NEVER BEEN
THERE. There were four or five doctors sharing the same office and there was
simply a space where his name had been. I go in and ask the receptionist where
is doctor so and so, as hard as I try right now to this day I just cannot
remember his name, but I can find my way back to where his office was. But
anyway, I ASK THE RESEPTIONIST WHAT IS GOING ON AND SHE TELLS ME TO PLEASE LEAVE
AND DO NOT COME BACK. I ask about the doctor, she closes the receptionists
window turns her back to me and walks away.
I go home, even more confused, Aaron calls me that night to come over, I go,
again not thinking anything about it. This is where all hell breaks loose. I go
to his apartment and we are sitting down talking as usual. From the back bedroom
six or seven men come out! Mr. Green and a group of men are right there and I
start freaking out. The other men were dressed in black. The instant I saw these
men I began to remember, my instinct tells me to run but I was taken totally by
surprise. The men in black leap over the couch, grab and hold me. They pined me
against the back of the couch, I had no leverage to plant my feet and try to get
up. They start to laugh and say things like "this guy isnít so tough"
and "that was easy." Mr. Green says "If you even had any idea how
dangerous that guy is you would not even be holding him!"
I remember looking at Aaron with a look of betrayal, I think I started to cry,
he could not look at me. Mr. Green says "do you have any idea how much
trouble you've been, we should have killed you a long time ago." I start
yelling "I'M GOING TO F*CKIN KILL YOU!"
He asks Aaron if I am going to remember any of this. Aaron answers
"no". He then proceeds to punch me in the face and calls me a
"mother f*cker" or something. I am struggling to get up but I just
could not move, Aaron then takes over.
Aaron then says the "magic word." The first one didn't work. It was
hippa.. something or other. He tries another one Poly-pop-er-enus ,
snarf-a-lif-agus, when he finds the right one instantly I cannot move. He tells
me how relaxed I feel, how warm and safe I feel, how I am in a "happy
place", to "lay back, relax, smile." As I'm sitting there I
cannot move, but I can hear them laughing at me. He starts telling Mr. Green how
he didn't know what exact word they used but once you find it "that's
it" he is totally under your control.
This is where things start getting a little crazy. What he did to me somehow, I
remember, is he somehow locked me away in my own mind, creating a multiple
personality over mine to make me forget everything. I remember fighting him for
control in my mind. He told me that I will do what ever he tells me to do. He
said the walls are closing in on you and you cannot fight it, in my mind I of
course pictured the walls closing in. On his instruction the walls closed in
until I was inside a "vacuum sealed steel coffin", which conformed to
the shape of my body (like a vacuum sealed produce package only it was my body
sealed in a steel coffin with only my face showing). I could not fight it and I
could not move. He then said you are being sent to a place in your mind where
you will never be found, at this point I start screaming "no no no".
After he sent me to a place where "no one will ever find you", he
instructed that "a steel plate the size of ten football fields and 10 feet
thick is crashing down upon you" and he said "here it comes, and there
is no escape". I remember screaming again as he says "boooom".
Here comes another one, "boooom", and he proceeded to do this five or
six more times. I am screaming during all of this. And I remember Mr. Green and
the others laughing at me while Aaron was doing this.
The thing is, the one thing I do remember about the hypnotherapist's first visit
is; I remember being back in my mind, "my safe place" and off in the
corner with these "steel plates" or like a heavy iron with some
weathering and rust around the edges. Dust was all over them and they were
bolted to the wall on an angle. I remember hearing horrific cries coming from
behind it, like some kind of creature or monster. To investigate I imagined that
the steel plates were made of tin foil and instantly I had the strength to bend
them back one by one. I was scared. As I got to the lower layers I hear
scratching, like a wild animal clawing at a door to get out. The last few layers
were bubbled out like you can make dents in a sheet of tin foil with your finger
(only much bigger). Down in the corner, there was a little piece that had been
ripped aside, and you could see the blackness behind it. I get on my hands and
knees to get a closer look, ALL OF A SUDDEN a hand of half rotted bone and flesh
suddenly reaches out and grabs my face. It would not let go.
I FINALLY GET AWAY FROM IT, but now the creature is suddenly energized and
begins to violently scratch and claw and with incredible force starts ripping at
the last layers of the steel. Finally, it made itself enough of a space to get
out. From the blackness emerges a half rotted corpse, on it's arms, legs and
left shoulder there was only bone, no flesh. An image of a body that had been
locked in a closet for years, half rotted and half already dead. On the verge of
insanity from being trapped in a space so small you cannot move, yet you cannot
die. I am now slowly backing away from it.. It says "what are you afraid
of?" it asks. "Who are you?" I ask it, IT ANSWERS "I AM YOU,
DON'T YOU RECOGNISE YOURSELF!" With a burst of speed it leaps at me and
grabs hold of me, like someone trying to embrace me. With it's half rotted arms
around me I start screaming.
I believe that this is when I started flipping out in the doctors office. The
hypnotheripest was then trying to "cover it back up" but the
"self" that they had locked away was by no means going to go back into
that tiny space quietly by any stretch of the imagination. That's why he had so
much trouble getting control of the situation again.
The hypnotheripest finally pulls me out of it, and two days later the
hypnotheripest has disappeared and Aaron had locked the "monster" (it
is no monster, it is my true "self") away again, with new doors and in
a new place. The monster who claims to be the real me is even now locked away
somewhere in my mind? This concept is very scary and confusing but these are my
August 1994 - June 1996- After that I didn't remember any of those events or any
other events for that matter until years later when a single event
"punched" a hole in the "alternate reality", the
"alternate personality" if you will, and Aaron continued to be my
"best friend" as he was my assigned "controller" or
"handler". Over the next two years or so I would go over to Aaron's
apartment, hang out all the time, and we were buddies. The thing is, odd things
would happen sometimes but I would just dismiss them Because I had no
recollection of ANY of the past events. For example, sometimes Aaron would just
get up and lock the door. Right in the middle of a movie or something. It's only
the two of us and I am about 6 foot tall and 230 pounds with bodybuilder
physiques and Aaron is about 5'-10" and about 210 pounds with a very
muscular build, and he is living in a very quiet and secure apartment complex.
So I began to wonder about these events and I would ask him "why do you
sometimes get up and lock the door" and he would never answer me, and I
would never question it.
I remember a lot of missing time at Aaron's, watching a movie and all of a
sudden I would be watching a different movie and it is 2:00 in the morning. All
of a sudden I would realize what time it was and I would say "Where the
f*ck did the time go" and I would just get up and leave. But thinking back
I can vaguely remember all the programming sessions he would have. He would keep
trying to totally destroy the "Monster" if you will, but he never
could. I can remember countless episodes of Mr. Green being there, as well as
others, studding me, trying to figure me out. But at the time some things you
really don't think about until later.
What was happening was they were watching all the time. I had no memories about
anything up to that point. My apartment was wired for sound and video. Every
moment of my life was being watched. One odd thing about my life is, ALL of my
girlfriends, at least all the women I would consider calling my girlfriend, have
said the same thing to me at one point in time or another. They all told me that
my apartment was almost like a "hotel" room. I guess that when women
first start dating someone they like to get to know the person by looking at all
their "stuff." I had some of the nicest "stuff" money could
buy in terms of furniture and electronics (a very nice furnished apartment). The
thing is there is no "memorabilia" at all, and thinking about it, they
are right! I have no photos at all! None of my parents, none of my family, none
of ANY college friends, NOTHING! No scrap books, no photo albums, no souvenirs,
no books at all, nothing personal of any kind. I have a fully furnished
apartment which is nicely decorated, but there is no personal memorabilia of any
kind. No memories and no past. (leave it to the women to notice this)
Another funny thing is, Aaron took a job as a student counselor at Life
Chiropractic college in Atlanta. His favorite pastime was to steal all of the
college's video tapes which dealt with the human mind and relating subjects from
the Life college library. He must have had 20 different "sets" of
tapes. These ranged from documentaries to case studies of all the different
mental diseases and theories of how the human mind functions and what exactly
occurs in each of them. In fact, the more I think about it, ALL we used to do is
sit around and discuss how the human mind functions. He would say the
"Magic word" and I would sit there in my altered state of reality and
he would tell me his view of the mind. How the human mind functions just like a
basic computer. With every decision either being "yes" or
"no" answer, like a switch which is either "on" or
"off", and would discuss how every memory, function, and action we had
or did is basically a string of yes or no responses. "Like a long
combination lock you must have the exact code to get 'In' he said. We would
watch video after video. Then I would tell him how I thought the human worked
and functions. We would spend hours upon hours discussing this.
Over the years the two of us would sit and he talk about "How to mind
f*ck" someone. The basic concept is to build a "Platform over your
real consciousness, and that then becomes your real consciousness." And all
along this was already been done to me and I had no clue about any of it. Which
in itself is a very scary concept. A fake reality if you will. Sort of like
Windows 95. Windows 95 is basically a "platform" built over the DOS
program to make the PC applications more "User friendly", where all
the computations, and all the "essence" of the program is written in
code using DOS, but all you see on the screen is Windows 95 (like a platform
built over the essence of the computer). It's kind of funny, in a very sick sort
of way. Here we I am sitting around discussing how to mind f*ck somebody, for
years, with my best friend. When all along, I've already been "mind f*cked"
by him for years, and don't have a clue about any of it. He discusses it with me
just like it's normal conversation! Now that's a real "mind f*ck" if
you think about it!
What was happening was all during my time in Atlanta they were using me for all
sorts of different experiments at the Dobbins Air Force Base in Atlanta where a
"major" project had become active. I was also used in the Montauk
chair for the time travel experiments at this time.
July 1996- My girlfriend, Pilar, is going to declare chapter 7 due to her debt
load from past bills. I had lent her some money, and she wanted to pay me back
by paying for my car repairs at the local Toyota dealership. I needed a new
muffler, power radio antenna, timing belt, and tune up. About $1,200.00 worth of
work which she was going to charge on her credit card before she had to cut them
up because of the chapter 7. The dealership tells me it's going to take only one
day and I'll be able to pick it up in the morning. They give me a rental car to
The next day I go back to pick it up and it's not ready. I go back the third day
and it's still not ready. I call on the forth day (Saturday), and they tell me
it won't be ready until Monday. "Look", I said, "I used to be in
the car business and I know that your service department can crank out between
75 and 200 cars a day, why the f*ck is mine taking a week when you told me it
would only take one day?" And he says "we had to order parts and it
will be ready Monday!" And rudely hangs the phone up on me. Monday comes
and I go to pick up the car. I get the bill and it's gone from $1,200.00 to
$1,750.00. I'm furious, mainly because I didn't know if the credit card was
going to go through at $1,700.00+, and I would really be stuck. And let me tell
you I get in the guys face and start freaking out, "You have the balls to
keep my car for a whole week and then bill me $600.00 over the estimate, where
is the manager etc..etc.." He replies "we had to order some
parts" "What parts" I say. He gets the paper work, looks through
it and says "we had to special order your radio antenna" I say
"special order the radio antenna, IT'S A F*CKING '92 TOYOTA CAMERY! Your
telling me that not one store in Atlanta had a power antenna for a Toyota Camrey
for a whole week! The entire city is sold out, that's BULL SHIT!" He then
gets is my face and says to me "I know who you are, and we don't want your
kind here. I'll take $100.00 off the bill, but don't come back because we don't
want your business or your "dirty" money here!"
"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I answer. "We had a visit
from some of your "friends" and they told us all about you, you piece
of Shit drug dealer". "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I
say again. "I spit on guys like you, dealing drugs to kids, I should kick
your ass right here and now. Don't worry you'll get yours someday, sooner than
you think." He says. I said "look I have no idea what you are even
talking about!? He says "pay it, and get the F*CK out of here and don't
I pay the $1,650.00, the credit card goes through. Pilar says "what the
hell is he talking about?" I said "I wish I knew". We leave, she
drives her car back to work, and I ride around for a while. I'm still pissed
off. This is too freaking weird! About an hour into my "ride", I have
an idea! I drive back to the dealership and pull into the "Pep Boys"
auto parts store located next door to the Toyota dealership I had my car
serviced at. I go in and ask the guy at the counter, who also happens to be the
manager, if they do any business with the Toyota dealership next door. He says
"are you kidding me, they are our largest account". "Oh"! I
say. "I'm looking for a power antenna for my car" I say. He asks
"what year, and what make?" "'92 Toyota Camrey" I tell him.
He punches it up on the computer. "Yes" he says and starts back to go
get it. "Sir can you tell me how many you have in stock" I ask. He
looks at the screen "53" he answers, "why" he asks. "I
was just curious because I was in two days ago and the clerk told me you were
out of them." "That's impossible" he says. "You see this
little "*" next to the part number, it tells me that on this
particular part we sell so many of them that, if we ever go below a dozen in
stock the computer in the warehouse automatically ships us more and we would get
them the next day." "Thank you" I say, and leave.
Someone, (the Illuminati, the Nazi party, and United States government are the
people responsible for all of this as well as the torture at the University of
Rochester, as well as the assassinations) told the Roswell Toyota dealership of
Atlanta Georgia that I was a drug dealer, so they could keep my car an extra 6
days to special order me a new radio antenna???????? This one blew my mind for a
long time because I still had no idea what the hell was going on!
February 1997- Aaron informs me that he is going to have to leave Atlanta for at
least a year and that all he can tell me is that it's "family
related." He says it won't happen until late May or early June. I'm very
sad to hear that my friend is going away. He not only is my best friend but he
is also very involved in my business and everything that I do. We try and work
out something to where he can still be involved and run things from his father's
house in Rochester. I knew it wouldn't work, he was quite insistant that it
would. He keeps reassuring me not to worry because he WILL be back in a year.
All along I am asking him "What's going on?" Finally, with me swearing
under strictest confidence that I won't tell anyone, Aaron proceeds to tell me
that what has happened is this; His father used to work for a very large
corporation in Rochester, and years ago he gave his father the idea that he
could sue this company for "mental anguish" or that the stress of his
job caused him to somehow "snap" causing him to be mentally insane,
and now he is suing them. Aaron then tells me that what HE did, was to instruct
his father exactly how to answer all of the physiological tests and questions
that they were going to ask him, and basically showed him how to scam thousands
of dollars out of the company in the lawsuit. Three years later, Aaron's father
won, and was awarded several hundreds of thousands of dollars. But what happened
was, the Judge ruled that Aaron's father was to receive the settlement, however
since he was "mentally not all there" he was not going to give control
of the money to him as it had to last him for the rest of his life as he was no
longer able to work. So the judge was going to set up some kind of
"trust" account where someone other than Aaron's father must act as
the executor of the account and therefore be the one who actually distributes
the funds since he was "mentally incapable".
So, since Aaron's parents are divorced, and no one else in the family knew that
the whole lawsuit was all a lie, Aaron had to go home to act as the executor for
his father. And it had to be for at least a year because the money was supposed
to last his father for the rest of his life since he is no longer able to work.
So they couldn't just pull it all out at once because the insurance company for
sure would be watching them. My girlfriend, Pilar, kept wanting Aaron to
hypnotize her to see if he could clear up some of the past trauma she had
experienced with her x-husbands. He always talked about how he could hypnotize
people without them even knowing it, and she wanted him to do it to her, but
ONLY if I was there. She didn't trust him enough to do it on her own. For some
reason he wouldn't do it. He would say "I don't think that's a good
idea" and would always put it off. But yet I remember going to Aaron's one
night with Pilar, and it was one of those "missing time" nights where
I remember just staring off onto space for a while. The next night I go over
again, this time by my self.
Aaron says something very strange to me. He says "man, you have nothing to
worry about with Pilar, she absolutely idolizes you", 'trust me' on
this." How the hell would he know? I ask myself later. Months later, when I
put it all together, I think he did it to see if I had told Pilar about his
father, good thing I didn't.
One Friday night I'm at home and Pilar is coming over later to watch some
movies. I'm feeling very up tight about my business and how it's not going as
well as anticipated. All along and for as long as I could remember I always felt
like some thing wasn't right with me. Like some thing was "wrong" but
I just had no idea what it was or where this feeling was coming from. ALL OF A
SUDDEN I REMEMBERED THAT I KNOW SILVA MIND CONTROL! I had totally forgotten
about it. Like out of the blue it was like a revelation. I guess I just hadn't
thought about it for years. So I relax, and go to my level. I'm having a great
session, feeling totally relaxed and comfortable. I open my eyes and Pilar is
sitting on the floor next to me with this look on her face like she is seeing
the devil possessing someone. I ask her how long she has been there? She says to
me "What the hell were you doing?" And I tell her all about the Silva
method and about going to different "Levels" of your mind. She says to
me "you never told me you could do that!". "I FORGOT I
COULD" I say. I asked her if I looked funny, and she tells me that she
almost freaked out when she saw me. "Why?" I asked her. "Your eye
balls were flurrying left and right at a million miles an hour. I thought you
were possessed or something. Then I called your name and you wouldn't answer. So
I sat down and watched." "How long were you watching me" I ask.
About 15 minutes she answers. What does she say next? "TEACH ME". So
she downs three glasses of wine and we spend the rest of the night doing Silva
What happened, however, is that the next time we went to Aaron's apartment,
Pilar, wanting to be involved in some of the intellectual conversations Aaron
and I had, starts talking about how I taught her the Silva method and how she
went down to the different levels of her mind and the whole thing. The next day
I go over to Aaron's to watch movies, I remember him getting up and locking the
door. AFTER THAT DAY, AND TO THIS DAY I CANNOT GO TO MY LEVEL. IN MY MIND, I
JUST CANNOT PICTURE AN ELEVATOR SHAFT IN MY MIND. I TRY AND I TRY BUT I JUST
CANNOT DO IT FOR SOME REASON. I guess Aaron didn't like the idea of me romping
around in my own mind and somehow "rigged it" so that I cannot enter.
It's sort of like being locked out of your own mind. Very scary! March 1997-
WHAT WAS THE "EVENT" THAT TRIGGERED THE RECALL OF MY MEMORY? HERE IT
IS. Aaron is a 5'-10" muscular, balding Italian man, who, if he could,
would spend his entire life walking around in his "flip flops" with a
short sleeve shirt unbuttoned down to his belly button and in a baggy pair of
shorts hanging out at the pool all day everyday. We would still do things like
go to concerts, the home depo, occasionally a movie. Things like that but
nothing that ever required too much planning or usually too much physical effort
(except working out). One rainy march evening I get to Aaron's, and he has a
sudden burst of energy and decides that he wants to go BOWLING.
"Bowling" I say. As it turns out, Aaron is an avid bowler. He even has
his own ball (which he stole form a bowling ally in Rochester NY). No bag, just
the ball. He says he hasn't been in a long time and he somehow got a "wild
hair stuck in his ass". This was a big venture for him because Aaron
actually had to go into his closet and dig out his sneakers and a pair of jeans
to go to the bowling ally.
We go, we walk in and get our lane and our shoes from the front desk. We turn to
the left and start walking to our lane. As we walk, the lanes are on the right
and the pro shop and bar is on the our left. Aaron is ahead of me, about 3 steps
(the fastest I have ever seen him walk, I guess he was excited to be bowling or
something). As we walk we pass the door to the pro shop there is a life size
cutout of a man in a rhinocerous suite. He is standing there holding a bowling
ball (it was a very elaborate life size 3-dimential marketing display with a
real bowling ball in the guys hands). The display said something like "Bowl
with the best, Bowl with what the professionals use, Bowl with 'RHINO
And as I walk by I start laughing. "BOWL WITH RHINO BALLS" I yell
ahead of me. AND THEN IT JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I SAID
IT "THEY USED TO CALL ME 'THE RHINO' ONCE!" and Aaron drops his
bowling ball and IMMEDIATELY AND I MEAN IMMEDIATELY turns around, walks back and
gets right in my face and says "WHEN DID THEY CALL YOU 'THE RHINOî', WHEN
DID THEY CALL YOU 'THE RHINO'! WHAT GOT ME WAS HE SAID IT TWICE. I was caught
off guard by his actions and I blurted out "In high school" I said.
They used to call me "the rhino" in high school, it was my football
nickname. I will never forget the look in his eye as he was examining me,
studying me. The thing is I LIED, they NEVER called me "the Rhino" in
high school. "The Rhino" was actually a friend of mines
"nickname" and he was on another team. My "nick name" in
high school was "B A" for "Bad Ass".
The moment after I said "They used to call me ěthe Rhino." What
"popped" into my mind was not some high school football game. What
"popped" into my mind was ME, STANDING ON A ROOF TOP, LOOKING DOWN,
AND YELLING AT THE MAN WITH THE WHITE HAIR "BECAUSE I'M WEARING MY NIKEíS",
AND THEN I WATCH AS HE TRIED TO CLIMB THE WALL THE WAY I JUST DID. HE COMES REAL
CLOSE (COMES UP 3-4 FEET SHORT) AND SLIDES BACK DOWN. AND AS HE SLIDES BACK
DOWN, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT HIS FACE, RIGHT IN HIS EYES. AND HE IS LOOKING RIGHT
INTO MINE. AND I REMEMBERED THE GIRL THEY HAD JUST KILLED WHEN THEY RAN HER
OVER. But that was it. Each of those memories were about 5 seconds long and
somehow I knew there was more but I just couldn't put my finger on it. But I had
punched a hole in their "alternate reality" and some memories had
THAT'S WHAT BROUGHT IT BACK! A PROFESSIONAL BOWLING BALL. WHO'S BRAND NAME IS
"RHINO", THE "RHINO BALL", THAT WAS THE EVENT WHICH
TRIGGERED MY MEMORY. THAT'S WHAT I REMEMBERED, THE MAN WITH THE WHITE HAIR, JUST
AFTER THEY RAN OVER THE GIRL.
I lied to Aaron not out of fear. It just flew out of my mouth. I didn't even
think about it. I just told the story about it being a high school "nick
name". As we began to bowl, I could tell Aaron was not himself, nervous,
anxious, and he asked me about "the Rhino" again and again. "Are
you sure that's when they called you "the Rhino?" He asks.
As I'm about to bowl I turn to him and say "Pretty f*cken sure asshole!
Watch this," and I pictured myself throwing a strike, I start on my
approach and I whizzed that ball down the lane and I threw a strike. I had just
taken a crash course in acting. Because I lied again. At that point what was
going through my mind was the girl, the man with the wooden blocks, the trial,
Brian talking to Mr. Green, the lab. And as I'm bowling all these things are
rushing into my mind. "Put it out of your mind" I say to my self.
"Think about it later" and I played it down. I got away with it
because I hadn't made the "Aaron connection" yet so I wasn't in the
least bit nervous. I honestly just wasn't going to tell my best friend, out of
the blue, that the Rhino was the term they used to call me when I was back in
college and involved with the government, and mind control experiments, and how
I was a unstoppable super assassin who possessed superhuman abilities! That
would fly over like a lead balloon. So I kept it to my self.
We bowled several games and consequently drank several pitchers of beer. As we
left and drove back to Aaron's he asked me to come in, several times. I said
"nah man, I'm beat, I'll call you in the morning." He pushed it to the
point to where I said something about it. "What's wrong with you man? I'll
call you in the f*cking morning." And I managed to play it down again
because I wasnít afraid of Aaron. That night, I didn't literally sleep at all
(and I really haven't slept a single night since and it's been over a year). As
I sat on my couch and thought about the "Rhino ball" I remembered
being on the roof again. Then I remembered the girl. I then back tracked to the
parking lot, running up the stairs, the girl, the roof, the jump. Going back
that night and seeing the men in yellow, going back in the morning. Brian and
the steroids. Him and Gwen, the lab, everything! But the memories are all like a
5 second flash of a 10 minute movie all with no sense of time order. Clear but
then suddenly stops and it's all very confusing.
I'm even so clueless and lost in confusion that I ask Aaron "Aaron, did you
ever have any Army men over your apartment?" He of course want's me to
immediately come over. I go, we hang out, I watch some TV, I come home and go to
bed. As a mater of fact "I have a very pleasant evening." In the
morning, as I sit on the couch on the coffee table there is a legal pad with all
kinds of stuff written on it in my hand writing. The Rhino, Rochester, 90 degree
vertical climbs, DID AARON LOCK THE DOOR??? WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU DO AT AARON'S?
CAN YOU REMEMBER? At that moment is when it all came together, but still it was
only as clear as a dream, only it was a bad dream and I was awake.
I start thinking about college, and the thing is I couldn't remember college, I
didn't remember most of my life now that I thought about it. I remember being at
the University of Rochester, but the more I thought about it, I couldn't
remember anything specific. I don't sleep at all now, and more strange things
The next night it is 3:30 in the morning and I'm up thinking about all this. I
see head lights illuminating some of the parked cars in the parking lot, but
after they were on for about five minutes. So I go out onto my porch to see what
is going on. There is a full size puck up truck parked in front of the Bell
South phone box which is the main board for the whole complex (a big gray thing
about 4 feet high and 5 feet wide). A man has the box OPEN and is doing
something while the pick up truck is left running. What exactly he is doing I
have no idea, but the whole thing is making me extremely paranoid. I think to my
self "for God's sake Aaron has the key to my apartment." So for the
next three months I would lay my golf clubs between the front door and the
closet door to act as a "wedge" so if anyone tried to get in while I
was sleeping the front door would only open about three inches.
The next day I decide to call my father from a pay phone. And let me tell you
NOTHING is ever really real, until you tell your parents. I gather my courage
and I call my father. I ask him "Dad, Do you remember going to
Annapolis?", and he answers "Only when I'm awake! Why?"
"Because I don't remember college I answer. "I have memories of
attending the University of Rochester, but I don't remember being there!" I
then proceed to tell him the whole story about the mind control experiments, the
girl who was run over, the lab, everything but it's all in bits and pieces. I
said "either I have just gone totally insane or my entire life since the
6th grade has all been a lie. Either way I need to get some serious
physiological help!" He has become quite serious now and says "I'm
extremely glad that YOU said that!"
Through a friend of a friend I get the name of a good psychologist, he
subsequently works with a psychiatrist, as it turns out I start seeing both of
Aaron is aware that I am seeing a psychologist, he is very interested in what
medication the doctor has given me and what is going on. I tell him that I am
going for therapy for the government mind control thoughts going on in my head.
He follows very carefully what's going on and is satisfied with the fact that
the doctors think that I am either "crazy" or "chemically
imbalanced" and they don't believe me.
For the next several weeks I remember going over to Aaron;s apartment and there
was a lot of missing time. What I would do was leave notes to my self. One on
the car seat, and one on my bed. Both saying the same thing: Did Aaron lock the
door? REMEMBER Rochester, the lab experiments, Aaron is controlling you
REMEMBER!!! And I would sign it to my self. As I would get into my car after
going over to Aaron's to watch movies I would find this note in my own
handwriting on the seat and I would read it and I became even more confused.
But from somewhere inside me I would somehow never let go of the few memories
that had broken through and every time that I would read the note it would
somehow bring it back.
After a while Aaron found out about the note I was leaving to my self in the car
because he kept on asking me (when he had me in the trance and I was under his
control) how the hell I keep getting out. And I would be forced to tell him. The
thing is, I would only tell him what he asked me. So since he never asked about
the "other" note I was leaving to my self on my bed I never told him.
And this game went on for weeks. After every night I would come home and try and
piece it back together again. As the weeks went by I finally put the Aaron
connection together, but I had to play along like there was nothing wrong. But
what happened was that Aaron eventually found out that I knew in my real and
daily life what he was doing to me. He tried to keep plugging the holes in the
dam (if you will) but my subconscious would not be stopped, it was fighting to
come out and there was nothing that he could do about it. We had a falling out
and didn't speak to each other from that moment on. I believe that Aaron knew
that I knew that he knew that I knew and we simply stopped talking to each other
for the final six weeks that he was in Atlanta. Mostly because he feared for his
life that he could no longer control the memories that were coming back to me.
May 1997- Aaron finally leaves to go to help his father, and never said good by,
he just left. Which only reinforces my suspicions.
July 1997- After about 18 weeks, thousands of dollars, and two different
"sets" of psychologists, and psychiatrists. The third psychologist I
go to, who was referred from the second one after he said "I have no idea
how to help you or what to do with you!" because I was not "chemically
imbalanced" and in spite of all of the drugs and attempts to simply make
these "memories" simply go away he referred me to another doctor, and
he was vice a president of the psychology department at Emory University
hospital in Atlanta. The third guy finally had a good idea. He says to me with a
very egotistical demeanor "If you believe that your problem can all be
solved using hypnosis why are you here in my office?" I laughed and thought
about it and said "you know, your GOD D*MN RIGHT!" I got up and walked
out of his office.
All along, my parents, especially my mother are very very concerned for my well
being. My mother especially seems to want to know EXACTLY who I am seeing, and
EXACTLY what medications they are prescribing to me. And of course I tell her as
she is threatening to come down and stay at my apartment until I get through
August 1997- On the second, I had made arrangements to go and see a
hypnotheripest. For the initial appointment I had inquired as to if he had ever
heard of the Silva mind control method, and he responded that he did and
"was even aware of the technique and was fluent in it's applications."
I specifically did not mention anything about the government or the experiments.
When I went in with Pilar, all I told him was that for some reason, that I, no
matter how hard I tried, could not go down to my level using the Silva method. I
didnít know why but I thought it was just because I was under a lot of pressure
at work or something. He tries to put me under and I keep for some reason coming
out of it. He said "this is like trying to keep a rubber duck at the bottom
of a tub of water when all it wants to do is keep popping back up to the
surface." He then gave me his professional opinion. This is what he said
"the mind is a funny thing, and we are not even close to begin to under
stand it. Of all the functions in the mind, 95% of what occurs, occurs in the
unconscious, and only 5% of the mind functions in the conscious. There is
DEFINETLY something blocking you in some way. What's happening is this, your
unconscious is what really controlís your mind. I suspect that something
happened in your past, something that is so agonizingly painful your unconscious
JUST WILL NOT let it come to the surface. Like a "clenched fist" it
will not let it go. At that point I knew that he knew I was lying about why I
really came to see him. He was a nice guy and I liked him, but I had already
made my plans to move back home, so I didn't want to get started with a new
"therapist" and then have to start all over again when I moved, so I
never went back to see him. He didn't even charge me for the session.
August 18th- My roommate from college and one of my best friends is getting
married in Oswego NY. I flew into Newark NJ and drove up to upstate New York.
Oswego is located about 50 miles or so North of Syracuse, with all this going on
in my head I didn't make a plane reservation until the week before. The airlines
wanted $1,200.00 to fly into Syracuse directly so I flew from Atlanta to Newark
for $199.00 and borrowed my mothers car and drove up. It was good to see my
friends and we had a great time. On my way home, since I was already up there I
got on the New York State thruway and went to Rochester as opposed to coming
directly home, more specifically the University of Rochester. I was only going
to one place and one place only. The building where I scaled the wall and the
girl was killed. The building where I remember seeing men in yellow suits
working at 3:00 in the morning "fixing" everything. The building where
I went back in the morning and found the crack in the block, and where the
railing had been replaced with a "new" one but the cement was a
I get there and let me tell you my heart was pounding. I go to the building and
look at the bottom block where the car had hit the building. AND LET ME TELL
YOU, THE CRACK IN THE BLOCK IS STILL THERE, AND THE ONE RAILING IS STILL BEING
HELD IN PLACE BY DIFFFERENT COLOR CEMENT JUST AS I REMEMBERED IT! October 30th
1997- I move back home and start to look for people with similar experiences or
who I think can really "help me". I arrive in the afternoon (as I had
drove through the night), we unloaded the truck and I went to sleep. The next
day my Mothers friend Astrid follows me over to the local u-haul facility, asks
me how I feel, and I told her that I feel ěfineî but thanks for asking.
Over the next month I am trying to piece together the fragments of my memory. I
got to the High school and start to ask questions. The coaches all of course
remembered me but the strange thing is when I asked them about the steroid trial
they all said the EXACT same answer. They all seemed to get this glazed look in
their eyes and they all said word for word "I remember something about
that, but I just canít put my finger on it!" All the people who I know
were there all seemed to get the same funny look in their eyes. I try and talk
to my mother about what I am remembering and the thing is everything and
anything that I would say her response would be "ANDY, THAT NEVER
HAPPENED". Even simple things like when I got into trouble as a kid when my
parents were going through their divorce, where I went to school in Germany, the
fights my parents used to get into when they going through their divorce.
"ANDY, THAT NEVER HAPPENED". So I began to cross check events with my
father and the rest of my family and they remembered most of the events as I
did. This did not make ANY sense. So I stopped discussing it with my mother, and
secluded my self in the basement of her house.
I went to see Father Jack and asked him about the steroid trial and his response
to me was "Andy, that never happened. We would never allow that to happen.
I strongly suggest that you donít say another word to ANYONE about ANY of this
and I strongly suggest that you forget that you even think that it
happened." This really pissed me off, because I know that I am not crazy
but what the hell is going on around here. So I tell Father Jack that I am going
to call Dr. Purrizzo and ask him about and of course Father Jack tries his
absolute best to convince me not to talk to ANYONE.
So if course I call Dr. Purizzo and get his service at his office as he is on
vacation in California. So I tell his nurse that I want to leave a message for
Mrs. Purrizzo (as she was the one who was caring out her sexual fantasies on me
with her friend back when I was in High School, and was the one who would come
up to visit me at Rochester and try and get me to sleep with her) and if anyone
would remember it would be her.
The next day Mrs. Purrizzo calls me and I just ask her if she remembers me and
if she remembers going to Rochester at all. She informs me that her memory
(conveniently) has gone since she has had alstimerzse disease. But she remembers
me from when she went to see her son play football against the University of
Rochester but that was it. This was impossible since I wasn't playing football
when her son (who was playing for Carginee Melon) played the University of
Rochester. The next day I get a call from Dr. Purrizzo who is calling me from
California while on his vacation. And he says to me "This better be
good" and I started to ask him in a very nice and gentile tone about the
steroid trial and he starts to laugh at me calling me insane and that I need to
have my self checked into a mental clinic. So I ask him about when I worked at
the Ho-Ho-Kus Inn for him parking cars and how he hypnotized me and put me on
the table to try and find out if I was sleeping his wife and to get revenge for
ruining him at the steroid trial. He stated laughing at me again (and I could
hear Mrs. Purrizzo and a few other people laughing in the background) and he
tells me that I NEVER worked at the Ho-HO-Kus Inn.
So I ask to speak to Mrs. Purrizzo and he tells me that haven't I put her
through enough and since she has alstimerzse disease she has no memory, and that
for god's sake go and get some medication as I am a danger to society and hangs
the phone up on me.
I am now very confused, within two hours Dr. Purrizzo's oldest son (whom I have
never met never even knew existed until now) calls me out of the blue to
reassure me that there never was a steroid trial and that he has a list of
psychologist who would be more then glad to help me. I tell him in a very calm
voice that I was just having these strange memories and I was wondering if his
father could help clarify them for me. Oh yea, I tell him, I'm so sorry to hear
about your mother, HOW LONG HAS SHE HAD ALSTIMERZSE DISEASE? He started to laugh
and then he said "My mother doesn't have alstimerzse disease!"
"Really" I say, well thank you very much and have a nice day. Within
one hour the Ramsey Police have called my house and spoken to my mother stating
that they got a call from Dr. Purrizzo, and that he recommends that I be sent to
a mental institute immediately and put on heavy medication for the safety of the
community! My Mother reassures the Police that I am no threat to anyone but I am
just having a tough time right now.
This only confirms everything to me that some thing is going on and I am not
crazy. So I call a bluff and call Father Jack at home and leave on his answering
machine something like "I have a copy of the steroid trial you lying sack
of shit and you are on it as clear as day, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD LAWYER"
and I hang up. The next day Father Jack calls my house and speaks to my mother.
I had told my mother what I was doing and just for my sake could you
"Please" just play along. Of course when She answers the phone Father
Jack informs her that he has contacted his lawyer and wants to know what she
knows about this "trial" and where is the tape? What does my mother
say?, nothing other then "there really is no tape. Andy just isn't feeling
well, he is just 'off his rocker'". Father Jack then tells my mother that
he doesn't like being threatened and that if I don't shut up he is going to have
the Police come me lock me away (this is the local priest who interacts with all
My mother is of course now frantic and I basically locked my self away in the
basement for the next month and didn't say a word to anyone especially my mother
about anymore of this, as she has already betrayed me once. But think about it?
If there never was any steroid trial, and the whole thing is a figment of my
imagination and it all never happened, then why would a priest (if he is so
innocent) contact his lawyer if there really could be no possibility of there
ever being a tape to begin with. I knew that I was right but the whole world is
against me for some reasion and I had to find out what the hell is going on. So
I laid low for a while and tried to piece together the scrape of memories which
I had as there was still no order.
December 25th 1997- For the previous few weeks I have been writing down my
thoughts to try and make some sense of it all. My thinking is that if I organize
some kind of "time line" I can organize my thoughts and get a better
picture. What you are reading is obviously the time line. Christmas eve I have
no friends to talk to and no where to go. This doesn't bother me in the
slightest in terms of depression because my memories are very slowly starting to
fall together and become clear. Pilar calls me Christmas eve and we talk as she
is in a similar situation. We begin to talk about Aaron and the strange things
that I thought were going on at his apartment. Then Pilar breaks in and tells me
that her and my stories are identical and she just never brought it up because
she thought that she might have been imagining things or some how going crazy
her self. About how there was lost time at Aaron's. How she remembers starring
off into space and seeing me next to her as Aaron was controlling both of us.
This was a great piece of reassurance and made a lot of other pieces fall into
place as well as a number of other memories come back.
The most important piece to fall into place and the one which had puzzled me for
the longest time was this? I knew as I was leaving Atlanta that they weren't
just going to let me go. They must be watching me somehow, but I couldn't figure
it out, how were they watching me? AND THEN IT CAME TO ME like a shiver going
through my soul. Here I was safe in the basement of my mothers house where no
one could get to me because I didn't go out at all. After talking to me I
remembered that when I moved back to New Jersey from Atlanta, the first thing I
did was bring back the truck. When I brought it back my mother's GERMAN friend
Astrid was there to pick me up. The first thing she said to me was "HOW DO
YOU FEEL?" and I said "I feel fine" then she said "AND THE
CRAZIES IN YOUR HEAD?" and I said "What crazies in my head?" Then
she said "That's good". Then she said "ANDY, WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THE BOOK MEIN KOMPF?" "Hitler's book?" I say, I don't know
I never read it! She said that's very good.
Hitler's Book "Mien Kompf" is one of the key words they use to control
me. Astrid is the controller who is in turn controlling my mother to inform them
of everything that I do. It all started rushing back to me. My mother
complaining of her trip to Germany to visit Astrid, and how she seemed to be
missing a few days and could not remember them. My grandmother (on my mothers
side) freaking out saying that she had walked in and Astrid was controlling her
in some way and my mothers response was "don't be ridiculous, Astrid is my
best friend!" I then remembered from way back when I was a child (maybe 10
years I started freaking out calling Astrid a NAZI at one of my parents dinner
parties and of course my mother apologized profusely. But I would not give up
and I kept screaming "YOU MAY HAVE THEM FOOLED BUT YOU HAVEN'T FOOLED ME.
YOUR A NAZI, YOU NAZI, YOU NAZI!" and I remember her just sitting there and
smiling at me and I could tell that she was saying to her self "you are one
smart little shit". She had also manipulated my father and has had a sexual
relationship with him over the years (I don't know the specific details to this
at all). These are all the basic control tactics that THEY use.
At this point I remember going to Astrid's once before when I regained my
memory. I think it was between 1992 and 1994 but I really cannot be sure). I
followed my mother over to Astrid's and watched as the main hypnotists as well
as Mr. Green, and the man with the white hair being there and manipulating my
mother. As I tried to get a closer look they had a man patrolling outside and I
was seen and they chased me down, caught me and said the "Magic word"
and my memory was erased again. The key point here is that now I know how they
are watching me, and I know who my new controller is. It is my own mother as
they are manipulating her to keep tabs on me. I thought back to what she knows
and to what I have told her in regards to anything I am doing with my government
mind control experiment memories. She knows nothing of any relevance as I have
not said a word to her since the Dr. Purrizzo and Father Jack incidents as well
as the arguments we had back in October as to what happened in my childhood and
since she would just say "that never happened" to no matter what I
said. I just completely stopped talking to her about it. I have, without even
knowing it, been specifically giving her disinformation and have been misleading
her for months (this is a VERY lucky break). Now that I know this, I am going to
use it to my advantage. And as a matter of fact now all the comments she would
make as to what I was doing, how she was very concerned as to what I am doing,
everything now makes more sense. But still I can only remember a fraction of
what happened and I am still trying to put it all together. But I have secluded
myself from everyone and now I know what to watch out for, My mother and Astrid.
January 17th 1998- Using the internet I order some books dealing with government
mind control experiments and covert operations (as I still am thinking that this
is a government experiment because I keep on remembering being on Navy ships for
the assassinations and I keep seeing Mr. Green during the torture experiments
and the conditioning. At this point I still have no recollection about the
Illuminati or ANY idea about what the big picture really is). One of the books I
ordered was "The Search for the Manchurian Candidate: The CIA and Mind
Control" by John Marks. In the book he discusses the MKULTRA programs and
how LSD was discovered, then how the CIA Back in the forties began experiments
to find a "truth serum" to make spy's talk. One of the first projects
was with two Navy men and a man called "Weint" (my father now has the
book and I am not sure of the spelling of his name), but he was the head of the
Psychology department at the University of Rochester. And he conducted his
experiments on the students at Rochester in his secret laboratory in the attic
of the library at the University of Rochester. When I read I literally fell off
the couch as a flood of memories suddenly came rushing back to me. THE SMALL LAB
I MENTION EARLIER IS THE SECRET LAB IN THE ATTIC OF THE LIBRARY! (and I have
enclosed diagrams). I remember this because when they brought me up there the
man with the white hair said to me "Rhino, what do you think of this place?
This is all for you!" and I said "It's a f*cking dump" and he
said "Well you have to give us some time to fix it up, it hasn't been used
in forty years." Then I remember the beatings and the electric shock they
did to me. I remember trying to escape and once when I got lose and had kicked
the crap out of all the lab guys I tried to jump out of the only window. I
opened the window and was half way out when I realized that I was at the top of
the library and it was at least a hundred and fifty foot drop down to anything.
At that point I knew I was screwed and I also knew where I was from the view. I
specifically remember that! Then I remember going back with the FBI once to raid
the lab and we broke in and was in the process of seizing everything when
someone very high up in the FBI who was under the control of the Illuminati OR
the NSA or which ever other government agency they used to control the situation
(which I didn't put together until later), ordered the complete halt of the raid
and the whole thing was covered up. And once again they erased my memory.
January 22ND 1998- I am still writing and trying to piece all this together. My
mother is a woman who is a "Pack rat" if you will. She collects and
saves EVERYTHING especially pertaining to her son. As I am writing down my
thoughts to make sense of it all I go up stairs and go to the filling cabinet to
where my mother keeps everything. My folder is gone. Everything that pertained
to my past, my high school football clippings, my old report cards, the police
reports of when I got in trouble when I was a kid. These were the reports I used
to shove in my mothers face when we were having an argument two months before
when she was insisting that I was never a bad kid. It had all mysteriously
disappeared. My mother must have told Astrid when she "reports" to her
weekly as to what I am doing and Astrid must have told her to get rid of the
file, to get rid of anything that would "spark" any more memories. So
now my house has been erased of any memories of my past. I have not said a word
to my mother that I know that my folder is missing, but let me tell you I was a
serious shock to me as everything becomes reality. But it only adds to the proof
of my past. Still no memories of the Illuminati or any other intervention with
the FBI at this point.