by Amorah Quan Yin
[source: The Pleiadian Tantric Workbook.]
Beliefs and judgments about men and relationships
1. All men are selfish, self-centered, and uncaring toward others.
2. All men just use women whether it be for sex, money, or ego gratification.
3. Men are incapable of commitment and loyalty.
4. All men are two-timers.
5. Men think with their genitals.
6. All men want to possess, control, and conquer women.
7. If I don't outsmart and control him, he will outsmart and control me.
8. All men hate women.
9. No man is good enough to deserve having a woman in his life.
10. All men control women through sex. Therefore, I will never let myself feel sexual energy.
Attitudes and behaviors toward men and in relationships
1. Relationships and marriage are strictly for a man's convenience and a woman's sorrow.
2. Love between the sexes is just a lie, a fairy tale believed by fools.
3. I have to keep him feeling inadequate and inferior by insulting him and never being satisfied. It is my job to remind him continually of his faults.
4. In order to keep a man around I must keep him feeling guilty, inadequate, and beholden to me.
5. By withholding sex I can keep him in need of me.
6. I must constantly show him that I am smarter than he is.
7. If I never act happy around him, he will try harder to please me.
8. I will find ways to use him before I am used.
Beliefs, judgments, and attitudes about myself as a woman
1. I will never be happy because a woman's life is always unhappy and unjust.
2. I must never let myself open my heart and trust anyone.
3. I hate myself for allowing men into my life just to hurt and use me.
4. I hate myself for wanting sex with men.
5. I will never try to please anyone but myself.
6. Women are always smarter and more trustworthy than men.
7. It is okay to cheat on a man. He deserves it.
8. I will never trust women who love men and who "pretend" to be happy. It is impossible without selling out as a woman.
9. As long as there is injustice toward women in the world, I must never let myself be happy or let go of my pain, anger, and hate.
10. To be a woman is to be a victim.
11. I have a right to use men any way I want to. They deserve it.
12. I have a right to use seduction and sex to control men.
Some of the examples I have given may seem antiquated to you. But look at the attitudes your grandmothers and mother passed down. You may not be consciously holding onto these beliefs but may be holding them in your subconscious or in your body. Identify the ones that even remotely ring a bell and work with those until you feel clear with each one. I am sure that there are many more beliefs, judgments, attitudes, and behaviors that are not identified here. Hopefully these will be enough to trigger your awareness of yourself in a deeper way and help you realize others that are not given.