Tone scale TIR Suppressive person (SP)
POSSIBLE PROBLEM PRODUCERS
By Stephanie Relfe B.Sc.
Read this to prevent things going wrong in your life!
Unfortunately, like it or not, a small percentage of the population are quite destructive. Consciously or unconsciously they do not want us to be free, happy, healthy and the best we can be. What they want is to control us. They want to 'keep us under their thumb'.
They do this because they have no personal power of their own. Instead, they get their power by keeping other people under them. The people who are the extremes of this are called 'suppressive' people. Extreme examples are Hitler, the Inquisition or the Ku Klux Klan. Slightly less destructive suppressives might be con-men or rapists.
Most of us do not meet people of this extreme. However, there are varying degrees of this type of person. Further down the scale can be ordinary people who just like to keep others 'under their thumb'. These people hate to see others doing well. They don't want to work on themselves to improve themselves - but they don't want to see others getting better either.
However, they may not show this side of themselves to you. It has been estimated that about 1-2% of the population are truly suppressive. One way you can recognise them is that after a while you begin to notice that you never feel especially good around them. You may be feeling good until you meet them and then they might say something that APPEARS to be okay, but which never-the-less makes you feel terrible.
Unfortunately, if another person is closely connected with a person with a high percentage of destructive tendencies, they can take on the characteristics of the suppressive person themselves. It is a contagious disease, a bit like the way a person will start to speak the dialect of the people around them if they move to a new country. The affected person is not a full-blown suppressive, but once they have increased their number of destructive tendencies they can become what I call a 'Possible Problem Producer'.
A Possible Problem Producer causes problems to themselves and those with whom they contact. Often wherever a Possible Problem Producer is, things just seem to go wrong. Accidents happen. They may happen a LOT. People might start doing things like banging their head by accident, having car accidents, losing things or losing money. They may get constant colds or flues. It has been estimated that 20% of illnesses, including mental illnesses, are due to contact with a destructive person. In extreme cases, nothing goes right.
One symptom of being a Possible Problem Producer, or of being in close contact with a suppressive person, can be that of going "up and down" emotionally. One day the person may be on top of the world. The next moment, they are 'on the floor' feeling very depressed. Later on, they will be as high as a kite again. If a person is free of influence of destructive people, they will be much calmer and happier most of the time. Any changes in their sense of wellbeing will go up and down like a gentle wave - but if they are in contact with a suppressive person their sense of wellbeing will go up and down like the French Alps. This is because as soon as a suppressive sees a person doing well, they like to 'shoot them down' to bring them to a level below that of the suppressive person.
The world is not the solid, separated place it appears to us. The universe is a hologram. Everything is connected on an energy level with everything else. (For more information on this, read "The Holographic Universe" by Michael Talbot). Possible Problem Producers have a chaotic energy which can make things go wrong around them. In addition, the WORDS THAT THEY USE can have a strong effect on others, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO ARE NOT AWARE OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING.
The suppressive person may be the life and soul of the party. They may appear to be well dressed, popular and successful. They may even have a lot of charisma. On the other hand, they may appear as a victim of society, with poor health, little money and a bad appearance. You cannot recognise them on looks or talent. But have a listen to the WORDS that they use and you will see that they are more interested in putting people down than pulling them up.
Destructive people can have a strong hold over us. Unfortunately, sometimes they can be a "best" friend, parent or relationship partner. There can be a lot of emotion associated with this person, which makes it hard for us to act rationally. Therefore, an evaluation form is provided below to help people RATIONALLY evaluate just how many destructive characteristics a particular person possesses.
This form helps us to find out just who may be having a very negative effect on us. Remember, it is not what you think of the person that counts. It is the WORDS that that person uses. (If you could hear their thoughts, you would find that a destructive person is projecting very negative thoughts which are helping to cause the accidents).
Please don't be too harsh with these people, because that is a suppressive act. Most of us have at least some destructive characteristics in us. After you have evaluated the people that you think are Possible Problem Producers, please evaluate yourself. Then reduce any destructive characteristics that you may have.
You can do another evaluation on yourself at some time in the future to see how successful your changes to yourself were. Hopefully, any destructive characteristics you may have had will have reduced, once you were made aware of them. They will probably also reduce if you remove yourself from the effects of any truly suppressive people. By the way, destructive people can also be organisations. They often include newspapers or television.
Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do to help a truly suppressive person. They do not want to change, and you cannot force them to.
The general rule of thumb is that you don't want to be in close association with anyone who scores more than 100 - 300 / 1200 destructive tendencies. If you scored yourself as having a destructive score higher than 300, don't worry! The fact that you are reading this means that you are not a truly destructive person - you are willing to change. However, anyone who scores themselves higher than 100 - 300 / 1200 is their own worst enemy. Their happiness, health and cash flow are probably being affected. Start changing now and see the improvements that start to appear.
Hang out with the people that you want to be like, so that you become more like them. If you are having a lot of accidents or mishaps in your life, or if you gave yourself an destructive score higher than 100 - 300 / 1200, there is probably someone close to you, or whom you are connected to, who scores 800/1200 or higher on the destructive scale (given below).
Here is the evaluation criteria for helping you to evaluate how many destructive characteristics a person has:
|Possible Problem Producer (PPP) Evaluation
Please Note: The key is what they say - not how they say it.
|1. Most of their conversation is negative.||1. They LIKE to talk about good things! They prefer not to discuss negative things. (One disadvantage of this is that you may need to know about some bad news and they won't tell you).|
|2. They make generalisations, which are also negative.
|2. They are specific, especially when making negative
comments. For example, instead of the comments on the left hand column,
they might say:
"You made a mistake"
|3. They lie.||3. When they pass on a piece of information, they don't change its essential message.|
|4. They may not lie, but whenever they pass on news, they make the information more negative. They seldom pass on good news.||4. When they pass on a piece of news they don't change it's essential message. They may even draw out good things from it.|
|5. They do not change, no matter what happens.||5. They make changes for the better.|
|6. The people they are closely associated with are often sick, having accidents and problems, making mistakes and generally having trouble with life.||6. The people around them are well, happy and generally doing well in life.|
|7. If they have a problem they blame and work on anything other than the real cause of the problem.||7. They can find the cause of a problem and therefore can and do fix it.|
|8. The usually don't finish whatever projects they start. If they make an actual decision to stop a project before its completion, they are very poor at tidying up the loose ends.||8. Projects that they start are usually completed. If they decide to stop a project before its completion, they tie up all the loose ends.|
|9. They have a low or no sense of responsibility for anything they have done that is unethical or destructive. They often cannot see that there was anything wrong with something destructive that they did.||9. They have a high sense of responsibility. If they do something unethical or destructive, they are usually ashamed of having done it.|
|10. They do not truly help people. Often they may
APPEAR to help others. However, the people they `help' do not benefit
from the `help' they receive, or get any better as a result of the
(If you truly help someone, the person you help will have an improvement in their life).
|10. They truly help people. What they give to, or do for another makes a positive difference to that person's life.|
|11. They do not respect others' property.||11. They respect the property of others.|
|12. They are big on status. They judge people by how `important' they are, how rich they are, what kind of possessions they have etc.||12. Status is immaterial to them. If they judge others, they judge them for who they are as a person. They don't judge for how much money and status they have.|
Possible Problem Producer (PPP)
Please Note: The key is what they say - not how they say it.
When this kind of information first came out, I understand that a number of people went back to the destructive person, who was sometimes their parents, and told them that they were suppressive and never wanted to see them again. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS!!! It is a VERY suppressive act to tell another that they are suppressive, or to talk about them to other people. Please practice some compassion for these people, even if this may be a little difficult when you realise what has been going on. Recognise that they are partly crazy. But work quietly and determinedly to get yourself free of their influence!
Possible Problem Producer (PPP)
Name of person doing the evaluation:_______________________________
Name of person being evaluated:__________________________________
This information is very new. Once you have finished your evaluation, please
read the whole article again, so that you can pick up anything that you might
have missed the first time and more fully understand it.
When you discover who the destructive person/s is/are, there are a number of things you can do:
1. DON'T go telling them that they are a suppressive person. That would be a suppressive act itself, and it will not do anyone any good! DON'T go telling others about who you think is suppressive.
2. If you want to help someone else who is close to a destructive person, you could talk to them about this article and see if they are receptive to learning more. If they are open, then you could give them this article. Let them make their own discoveries and choices in life.
3. Move away from the destructive person. Have as little to do with them as possible. This is the best solution! Unfortunately it is not always possible - for example, if that person is a parent and you are still a child.
4. Give away or throw away anything that reminds you of them, such as gifts. Especially remove from your view any photographs that remind you of them. If you owe them money, start paying it back today, even if it is only $5 / week. If they owe you money, get it back or write it off.
5. If you must be in contact with them, then you will have to stand up to them. These people have no spiritual power of their own. They get their power by taking power from others, by pushing them down.
Some ways of standing up to them are:
a) Make it clear that you are not going to listen to bad news, no matter what.
b) When they make generalisations, pin them down to specifics.
c) Steer them into the topics of conversation that they CAN be positive or neutral about.
d) DON'T let them put judgements on you. Let them know that THEIR opinion of YOU is none of YOUR business.
I saw one of the best examples of how to deal with a suppressive when I was watching an interview with Margaret Thatcher, the then Prime Minister of Great Britain. The arrogant news person asked her something along the lines of "How do you feel when people say that you're a terrible person ?". (He gave a number of insults that I don't remember). But I do remember her brilliant reply, said very slowly and very clearly -
"Who said that, when did they say it, and where did they say it?"
The news person was left speechless. He gagged a bit, and then came in for a second attack, saying something like "well, you know how everyone says you're insult / insult"
Again she said, "Who said that, when did they say it, and where did they say it?"
There was nothing he could do. This is a perfect way to handle a suppressive. Do not let them get away with a negative or generalised statement or question. Even when it is delivered with a smile, a sweet tone or a laugh - which it often is, to disguise their true intent to bring you down. They are 'holding a knife' behind their back - and their laughter. Stand up to them and you will see that they have no personal power - just the way that the school-yard bully backs down when someone finally stands up to him.
A good movie to watch about suppressives is ``A
Few Good Men" with Tom Cruise, Demi Moore and Jack Nicholson. Check out the
suppressive played by Nicholson.
If the destructive person is a parent, they probably do love you deep down. Explain to them that you are not going to talk to them any more unless they say good things. Tell them that you love them, but you have decided not to have any more criticism or bad news in your life. And then make sure that you give back the same to them, saying only good things to them.
Examples of people improving their lives by disconnecting from a Destructive Person
A client of mine came to me for a kinesiology session. She had a few pains and health problems. We fixed her problems up but when she came back to me two weeks later, her problems were back. Muscle testing showed that the cause of her problems was negative emotions. It appeared that her boss was a destructive person. She evaluated her boss with the form below, and gave her a destructive score of around 1000 / 1200. After that, my client quit her job, found a new job within a week, and her problems went away and did not return. And she was a lot happier into the bargain.
Another client of mine was a successful, happily married woman. But she used to cry a lot for no apparent reason. Eventually we did a Possible Problem Producers evaluation on people close to her. Her previous husband came up with a high destructive score. She threw out some photos of holidays that she had spent with her ex-husband which had been hanging in her house. Immediately her troubles lifted, and they did not return.
A story I heard from a friend of mine. He had a client come to him who was feeling terrible. Things were going wrong for her. She was in a good relationship and there did not seem to be any destructive people in contact with her. However, they did a graph of when she was feeling good and things were going right for her, and when she was feeling terrible and things were going wrong for her. Then she realised that things started going wrong straight after she got a phone call from an old boyfriend. When they evaluated him for destructive characteristics, sure enough he got a high score. She then got together everything that reminded her of him, including every gift he had ever given her. Not surprisingly, most of the gifts had broken since she had got them. She put them all in a bag and left them on his doorstep. Her problems went away after that!
"Handling the Potential Trouble Source" L. Ron Hubbard
"Suppressive Persons and Potential Trouble Sources" L. Ron Hubbard
Dianetics L. Ron Hubbard
"Disconnection" L. Ron Hubbard
"The Antisocial Personality" L. Ron Hubbard
Than a Cult?
'From Crusade to Rip-Off' plus 'The Principles Unveiled'" L. Kin
Ups and Downs by Ruth Minshull